lily bear........

how i miss you so much today
how i just want to hold you and hug you and give you all the kisses in the world
how im so happy you got your first two teeth but sad at the same time becuase i wasnt there to see you grow them
i love you lily and im glad you have a family who is able to take care of you and love you too the way i would of loved you
i miss you you and just want to hold you and i know that that is ok i know ill be ok i am still happy for what i did but i still have thos days

my life passing before my eyes......dec 19

someone i will always love she gave me life and hope

i love my crazy family

Sarurday i woke up very early not really wanting to go into work was very tired and have beeen talking about finding a new job cuz havent been feeling like i fit in with the ppl at work. Well as the day goes by so sllllloooooowwwww i had all the mean customers you could think of i had a lady yell at me for not giving out her daughters info on her account (witch by the way is not aloud) i had a confusing customer who was doing a huge money order cuz she was buying a new car and was asking me all these questions (i couldnt even answer one of her hard questions) she was from canada and was very scary. I even had only a 15 min lunch! I honestly didnt think this day could get any worse........I WAS WRONG!!!! Some where around 230-3ish i was the only teller up front it was slow during that time so the other tellers decided to do some of the closing duties so we would all get out on time. well aman walked in to my bank you could tell he was in a hurry i greeted him like i usually do (smile, welcome them to wells fargo and ask the customer how there day is goin so on and so forth) well the tall mexican i would say he was around 6ft 3" some what built walked up to me he was wearing a black BHER hat black plastic 80 style sunglasses a band aid over his nose with a red dot on it like rudolph the red nose and a meican style mustache he unfolded his deposit slip what it read was a big surprise to me it was something i never thought would happen to me it said: "NOALARAMS GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY" well after i read the horrible letter i hurried and turned around looking at my manager and then did what the man told me to i gave him my money......he kept rushing me telling me to hurrry and faster. Well my first drawer did not satisfy the scary man so he asked me for my second drawer i opened it telling him there was nothing in it he looked and then left the building. i stood in shock not knowing what just happen didnt know if i should cry or just be happy i was still alive. But that whole time it was happening all i could think about was im not ready to die i have a man i love whom i wanting to marry i have a daughter i would like to watch grow up (whitch ive decided to start a journal for her so she can have when she is older i would like her to know my side of the story) and i wanted to tell my mom how much i love her and how she is an amazing person who has gone thro sso much and is a stronger person because of it. I thank god for saving my life that day god gives me LOTS of trials to go threw and im unsure why he picked me to have as many as i do have but i do know he only gives us as much as we can handle. well im unsure if the man was ever caught i know that that got one guy that looked like the same guy but i wasnt for sure if it was him so i couldnt say yes. I had derek pick me up from work that day i could not drive after being in that kind of shock we ended up going to my familys xmas dinner whitch was super good but the whole rest oh the night i really thought there was someone out to get me i couldnt sleep the rest the night i know ill get over this but it was just so scary